I've often thought it would be cool to some day, record an album, sell millions of copies, do big tours, have all the girls squeal when I would start singing, and just be all around famous. I still think that would be cool, but that's not really what I want. Sure if it comes to that I'll take it, but I pray to Jesus that I don't get a big head.
I watched a little bit of the Grammy Awards tonight, and as I sat there I thought, "It would be awesome to be a nominee for that someday, and even perform at it," and I started to imagine what song I would sing and how I would dress and how I wouldn't act weird like everyone else that performed and how I would just be so awesome. But then I got thinking about it, is that whatJesus wants for me, shoot, would I even enjoy it? I really don't think I would, at least, if that's what I was striving for. Then, as I watched more of the awards, I became rather disgusted. The people that performed almost seemed to be deranged. There were a few good artists that I enjoyed, but the rest of them I was kind of like, "How did you get here?" Granted, I am rather biased against the Jonas Brothers, but still, the way they danced on stage, the way they looked at the audience, the way they carried themselves, and just the whole aspect of their performance style disgusted me.
Ok, time to stop hammering the Jonas brothers, they actually are awesome... if you're a 12 or 13 year old girl- eh hem... anyway. But after the announcement of the song "I kissed a girl" or whatever it's called, I almost felt depressed. I began to realize that almost the whole secular, mainstream music circle, is way out of whack. I can't calculate it, but something just doesn't seam right. I definitely wouldn't be proud to tell the Christian people that I look up to that I was apart of it. And I almost wouldn't be proud to tell "gentiles" (for lack of better words) that I was a part of it. I don't think I'd even be very happy with myself if I was apart of it. I don't really know how to make this come across right, but it would feel like I was rejecting the gospel. Even if I didn't reject it I still think I'd feel ashamed of it.
(am I making sense to anyone?)
I don't know, that whole world just seems so materialisticly worldly, so much that I think I would have to push my convictions under the bed in order to succeed in it.
What do I know, it may really not be that bad, but is it what God want's for me?